What's On Your List?

With 15.7 million people unemployed in America today retailers can only hope and pray that the slashed prices of hot items on Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year, will draw the customer into their stores to spend the little money they have for the sake of giving a gift.

What about rethinking our gift giving this year? What if this year instead of going into debt, scouring the department stores for the perfect item, pushing people over to get through the doors we stopped for a minute to recognize the true needs of others.

We could take the focus off of the list of items to focus on the people on our list. Not reaching into our pocket but reaching into our heart for the perfect gift. What would this gift look like? According to Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, people feel loved according to acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and gifts. By the way, the person who feels loved by gifts feels most loved by the thought, not necessarily the most expensive and perfect gift.

As a society we have placed so much emphasis on the gift instead of the giving. What if we took the time to understand someone's love language and told them this year, "I want to give you the gift of love by loving you according to your language."

The true gift of love is sacrifice. Most often the sacrifice of a few dollars will never leave a lasting impression, but the gift of sacrificing to love someone in the way they feel loved will speak volumes, especially when we normally do not feel comfortable loving that way. Can you imagine if you discovered that your daughter's love language is quality time and you said to her I want to take you to lunch every other weekend? How would that impact her life and yours? My husband did this with both our daughters. By making the sacrifice of time the dynamics of their relationships changed and all have been blessed.

On any given night my son Cameron slides close to me on the couch, with puppy eyes he asks, "will you rub my back?" I decided to experiment on my thirteen year old son with the idea of giving the gift of his love language for Christmas. I knew he wanted a cell phone, since all his friends have one, but his love language is physical touch.
"Honey," I pleaded, "what if we can't afford a phone, can I rub your feet instead?"

He looked up at me shaking his head, "No Mom, I really need a phone." Okay, maybe my high hopes of changing the focus from a monetary gift to give the gift of love won't work on my son who is desperate to communicate with his friends.

Discovering our love languages as a family has enabled us to love eachother better throughout the year and save us money. In fact, my love language is words of affirmation, the first clue that my love language was not receiving gifts was that I usually took back the gift or at least wanted to. When I communicated to my husband that gifts were unimportant to me he was thrilled to save loads of time and stress searching for the perfect item. When it comes right down to the perfect gift I want my husband to tell me he adores me and that I'm the best wife and mother of anyone he knows. I would rather have the gift of his love than any monetary item.

Normally the easy gift to give is one of monetary value. Today reevaluate who's on your list, take the time to discover how you can love them, and make the sacrifice to step outside your comfort zone to love according to their love language. The retailers may not be happy with their sales figures, but we can create family unity and joy with the gift of our love. A lasting gift.

What Is Your Identity?

When we finish our education whether it’s a high school diploma, a trade certificate, bachelors, masters, or doctorate degree we have an expectation of achieving great success in our careers. Initially we spend endless hours working to climb the ladder with anticipation to attain a position that will give us the status and salary we desire.

Often times our careers dictate who we are by our title. A doctor, lawyer, CEO, Vice President, a famous athlete or an actor can elevate us to a position of honor. For years I valued my identity as a Nordstrom buyer until I lost that position and lost my identity. The fact is that our occupation is no more our identity than a lion is a zoo. My job was my god. I had to be stripped of that god to find the one true God.

Once we recognize what Christ did on the cross by taking all of our sin upon himself, to stand before a Holy God forgiven and cleansed of all unrighteousness, we know our true identity. When we invite him into our heart we become a Prince or Princess, an heir to the throne of heaven, adopted into the family of God our Father. We then become ambassadors sharing the love of Jesus as ministers of the gospel. The title of Christian, follower of Christ, should take preference over any title we have at work. What is your identity?

A Heart of Humility

People can be cruel. Labels and put-downs can play back in our mind over and over again until we believe the lie, which can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many times people tear down others to build themselves up, because of their own insecurity and low self-confidence from childhood pain. When we recognize bullying, put downs, and labels as not about us, but about the hurt child within the attacker, we can move past the pain of our own suffering and actually have empathy for the abuser.

Jeanine was abandoned by her mother. One day her mother dropped her off at kindergarten, divorced her father, and moved away without saying goodbye to her little girl. Jeanine experienced shame from the rejection of her mother and the humiliation of not having a mother in her life.

Jeanine lived at her grandparent’s home with her young father who used sex, drugs and alcohol to cover up his pain. Her handsome father and uncles had the reputation for being sexually permissive during their high school years. Growing up in the same house Jeanine adopted the same label of “promiscuous family” from the gossipy towns people who knew her family history. She began to identify with this label, feeling judged and separated from her girlfriends and their parents.

As an adult Jeanine had deep rooted pain from these labels and the shame of her youth that caused her to loathe herself. This was revealed by her fearful nightmares over the years. When we met she had little trust for women, yet God was tugging on her heart to join my Bible study. One day I showed up at her house unexpectedly to drop something off as she was agonizing over her past and crying out to God. She invited me in to sit down, convinced that God had brought me to her. When she shared her painful past for the first time I prayed for Jesus to comfort, heal and restore her life.

When we acknowledge our need for God we give God the opportunity to bless our lives. He will give us courage to face our pain, hope to heal our brokenness, and strength to forgive those who hurt us. Miraculously Jeanine’s daunting dreams vanished and she gained self-worth by discovering God’s love for her through studying the Bible.

As she brought her shame into the light by sharing her pain with me, giving me the opportunity to pray for her, and having a heart of humility she became more sensitive to the pain of others. For the first time Jeanine saw the pain of her mother’s childhood and the guilt of her mother’s decision to leave that had plagued their relationship over the years, leading her to a place of acceptance and forgiveness of her mother.

Jeanine’s choice to detach and hold on to resentment toward her mother and women prolonged her suffering and destroyed her relationships. She recognized that her own destructive behavior and distrust for women were sabotaging her friendships. When she chose humility by following God’s principals her relationship with God, her mother, and women began to flourish. Have you become sensitive to the pain of others or have you held on to resentment and become bitter?

The Bible says, "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil," (1 Peter 3:8-12).

How High Is Your Wall?

After my fourth child was born I insisted we buy a larger house for our family. My husband teases me that he gives me an inch and I take a mile. It was true, especially back then. When he said to look for a house in a certain price range I pushed the envelope. We bought a home that made him feel financially burdened and stressed. And for the first time in our thirteen years of marriage we fought.

During the course of our marriage my husband made all the decisions, voiced his opinion, and got his way, because I let him. But with the house and landscaping I wanted to make some decisions. Quite honestly, I wanted it my way and I stood my ground.

The facade of a perfect marriage crumbled as I disagreed with my husband for the first time. Digging deep into my heart and my past I exposed the rocks of resentment, anger, and pain that were buried under the surface, hidden in the depths of denying my feelings for years.

I started looking at the rocks that I was uncovering and I started throwing them by lashing out with anger. I built a wall around my heart with the rocks of pain, sorrow and regret. The more I resented him the deeper I dug myself into a pit of despair. Here Jesus met me. He extended his hand and I grabbed on. He lifted me out and put me on solid ground as I clung to his promises from the word of God.


I rejoice in what God has done to change me. I relate to King David when he proclaimed, "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD (Psalm 40:1-3).
 
Are you in the pit? Have you built a rock wall around your heart? Know that God is with you. He will take you out of the pit. He can soften your heart when you seek Him and give Him praise. Focus on your blessings and what He wants to do in and through you. Check out my article on How To Conquer Fear.

Power of Positioning

Craig Wormald serves as Chairman of the Board of Directors of Business Life Ministry at the Rock Church and Senior Partner of EquiGrowth. At last weeks networking meeting the audience got a taste of Craig’s sense of humor. He expressed his gratefulness to be living in America since 2007 represented by the powerful, stoic and graceful eagle as our national bird compared to his home country of New Zealand known for its scrawny, flightless and awkward national bird, the Kiwi.

To set the stage for his insightful teaching, The Power of Positioning, Craig quoted Ian Grant, “I’m no expert; only one beggar telling another beggar where the bread is.” With that said, Craig shared about “circumstantial conditions” that God allows in life to turn us a certain direction. For Craig he grew up in a tension filled home that landed him into a foster home with strong Christian parents. They challenged him to make Jesus his Savior and the Lord of his life as a teenager by reading the Bible daily. Craig admitted he was in no-man’s land for seven years with one foot in church and the other in the world until he dedicated his personal and business life to honor and glorify God.

God molded Craig’s entrepreneurial spirit at the early age of eleven with his first lawn mowing business where he had ideas of franchising to the neighbor boys to make a profit before the concept was materialized in the marketplace years later. In his early teens Craig began a door to door home delivery service of groceries, bottled milk, and newspapers. By the age of seventeen he had bought, refurbished and sold forty-one cars for profit. His entrepreneurial ideas never stopped there. He developed a prototype for motorcycle helmets with windshield wipers and a hydraulic wheelchair. Craig’s lack of financial resources and inexperience at his young age allowed his inventions to come to fruition by others. Craig owned a yacht brokerage and marine marketing business, and loved the challenge of start-up companies as well as turning businesses from the red to record profits.

Craig’s business advice to men: listen to the Holy Spirit who will often speak through your wife and your mother. Craig’s honesty and transparency revealed that a risky venture left him suffering the financial consequences of ignoring the advice from the two women in his life that know him best. God uses Craig’s entrepreneurial experience to give back to the community as a life coach. Craig says, “The Business Life Ministry is a perfect marriage for him of a priestly expression of a Kingly calling.” He and other business entrepreneurs at the Rock Church are serving the Lord by training up business owners in the San Diego community to impact their world.

At the Business Life Networking meeting Craig directed the attendees to 2 Kings Chapter two where Elisha positioned himself to receive a double portion of Elijah’s blessing from the Lord. In business we must position ourselves around like-minded people who are anointed like Elijah to be used and blessed by God. Elisha made a calculated decision to not let go of the goal. He persevered after Elijah determined to receive the blessing. Elisha said to Elijah, “As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you.” He pursued the anointed man of God and never stopped looking to his Master in heaven for the spiritual blessing.

In business we must evaluate our gifts and talents then measure the fruit of our success. Craig said to stop complaining about hard times and start stepping out in faith to trust God and make things happen, referring to a quote that God never moves parked cars. Power of positioning commands results by being prepared and working hard for what you want. Craig suggested we evaluate our work ethics to align ourselves with godly principles. Often our reward will not come if we are not respectful and responsible with our single portion. People want glamour and profits but refuse to show day to day courtesy of returning phone calls, following through on commitments, and showing up to meetings on time. For God to bless us we must work diligently with all our heart, with integrity as though working for the Lord, not for men, (Colossians 3:23).

Most importantly as Christians in the marketplace we must position ourselves with Almighty God by being in daily prayer, in his Word, and asking for the double portion blessing so that we may receive what we ask for in faith. Ultimately we need to bring glory to God by using our gifts and talents to make a difference in the marketplace for Christ and to further His Kingdom.

The vision of the Business Life Ministry and Work Ministry at the Rock Church is to be a resource to develop skills through mentors, business classes, Biblical teaching, networking and dedicating businesses to honor God. To find out more information about monthly meetings go to The Business Life Ministry at the Rock Church http://therocksandiego.org/ministries/business/. Or contact: Work Ministry Leader Paige Cohen at workministry@therocksandiego.org. Business Life Ministry Leader Cyrus Rapinan at busnines@therocksandiego.org.

Who Will You Follow?

Eager to find out why my fellow coffee shop patron welcomed a homeless man last Friday into our local Starbucks I sat down next to Bill for the rest of his story. He had mentioned he once was homeless at the age of fourteen. I discovered over a latte that he lived in a car behind a gas station where he worked for a year and a half when his parents abandoned him and his three siblings. Bill’s alcoholic father chose to continue drinking and go down the road of homelessness for fifteen years. Bill’s mother chose to run off to another state with another man. All four children took different paths.

For Bill, God used a disabled woman to speak words of truth into his life at the early age of thirteen, while this same woman provided help for Bill’s older sister who went through rehab. Later God provided a business man who hired Bill to work construction. He allowed Bill to study for two hours during lunch breaks to prepare for the exam to obtain the equivalency of a high school diploma. Bill’s hard work and aligning himself with people he respected equipped him to take the steps to get a higher education. Over the years he has owned and sold several businesses. As a committed father and husband he chose a higher road.

Daily we have a choice to make. Who will we follow? We can choose to follow the negative aspects of our parents. Or we can choose to follow the path our friend's are making. Or we can align ourselves with someone who has godly character, is anointed by God, and who bases their decisions off of what God says. That person may not have all the material riches in his or her life, but you can see that person has the peace, strength, integrity, wisdom, and loving kindness of a successful life through a relationship with the living God.

Who are you following? Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life," (John 8:12). Do you need to realign yourself with those who are heading toward the light away from the darkness of this evil world? Take steps in the right direction. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. Only through me can you come to the Father.”