How Do You Feel Loved?

God says in His Word to love your neighbor as yourself. Do you love yourself? I’m not talking about being selfish. What I mean is do you know how God created you special and unique so that you can take care of yourself in order to love others? You will be able to love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and love others when you know your value in Christ and how He created you.

Over the next few posts I will be writing about how we can be empowered to love others by knowing and taking care of ourselves.


First you need to know your love language. Then you need to be able to communicate how you feel loved to the people in your life. When you know your primary love language then you can learn how others in your life feel most loved. God has created each of us in a special way to feel loved. The book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman helps you to discover your love language.

It’s critical to have your love tank full to love those around us. If our love tank is on empty it’s hard to love others. Look at the following list to determine how you feel loved. Talk about your love language with those in you life to ensure they love you in that way.

When I have not been affirmed by my husband for awhile I will sweetly say to him, "Honey, I really need to have my love tank filled with some affirming words." We always make it a gentle reminder. I'm aware that he feels loved by my hugging him, which I try to remember to do often. Although, physical touch is not supposed to mean sex I noticed my hugs used to lean to misunderstandings. Now, we know the days of the week that we will be intimate, which causes less confusion and no rejection.

What's your love language?

Acts of Service: Do you feel most loved when someone does something for you? When someone does your laundry, do you feel like they care for you? Your love language could be acts of service if you feel special when someone makes you dinner, cleans the house, or runs an errand to make your life easier.

Quality Time: Do you feel loved when someone spends time with you? Do you feel appreciated, valued, and special when someone invests time in a conversation with you? Is it important and special for you to go to lunch or just sit on the couch to talk with a friend or family member one on one?

Physical Touch: Do you feel most loved when you get a hug? Do you like to have your back rubbed or your arm lightly touched as you sit in front of the TV. What about holding hands? How does that make you feel? Physical touch is not about sex, it's about feeling loved by being touched.

Gifts: Do you appreciate the thoughtfulness of a gift. This can be a card, a box of candy or something more extravagant. Usually the person who is loved by gifts lights up with the smallest token that says I thought about you.

Affirmation: Everyone wants to hear positive words of encouragement and praise. Some people thrive on affirming words. Their love tank is filled with compliments. The opposite happens when we use discouraging words and put downs. This person will take those negative words and feel defeated and unloved.

What do people do for you that makes you feel special and appreciated?